I am so afraid to be left behind,
to be last woman standing
that I take every opportunity to
leave
and to try my friends' boundaries;
how much they can take,
if I can strain them to the world's end
and back again
without them snapping.

I want them to snap, really,
so I can be able to run away
before they leave me all behind,
alone
with a party hat and a cake
for no one to eat
and a life with stories
that no one can hear.

So I run with a quick good bye
and every time I catch my breath
I cry.