it's all an illusion

I tell myself this

Knowing full well I'm lying

I accept it as truth

and I shut my eyes real tight

so it seems there are stars floating around me

... like I'm moving among the stars

Though it's all an illusion

I can make myself believe

the illusion seem so much like home

the illusion feel so very real

and I tell myself that

that there's a place for me there

that this is somewhere I belong

that I have all I that I ever needed

right here

and that I'm ok

stuck here

in my mental prison... this tiny little box

with my fictive wants and needs

I think I'm losing that trust

I think I'm forcing myself away

and yet, it's all ok

cause it has to be

but I think... I think that maybe... maybe it's not...

... it's not really ok

/