When did it stop?
-the clock in my room back home

It’s frozen five past three
was it am or pm
and what did I do?

If it was in the afternoon
I probably did something boring
like pouring vodka from a glass bottle
into a plastic bottle, to bring on the train

If it was very late at night
I probably lay in bed
reading dog-eared novels
with dirty titles

When did it stop?
-the clock in my room back home

Was it
when I threw the biscuits
and chocolates in the bin
and went to bed hungry?

Was it
when I went to bed with regret
that I could’ve lost my virginity
but pulled out at the last minute?

I spent years in that pink prison cell
waiting for the phone to ring
having conversations
with the rock stars on my wall

The wallpaper still has marks
there’s dust on the window sill
net curtains shutting out eyes
but there are new neigbours now

My parents have become
the oldest couple in the street
they won’t bother to re-decorate
or change the battery

So when did it stop?
-the clock in my room back home

Was it
when the phone finally rang
or did it simply stop
when I left?


© Louise Halvardsson