I am sitting at sea shore
I can view the sun set
While it is going to be dark
The birds are flying back home
And i can feel the fresh air and wind too

Suddenly

I am hit by flashback

To my past and active life
Whereas i am all alone now
Inactive and ill
Once i used to smile
Had dreams and hard work
To achieve those dreams into reality
Surrounded by smiles and friends
While i miss all now

It was same place and time
But i guess i am not same
Nor the reasons which made me smile
To cut it short and let be it shared
I have obsessive compulsive disorder
A disorder not understood by many
Not the loved nor the near ones
That is how I lost all of them
That is how i miss them
Anxiety, stress, obsessions and compulsions
All that is part of obsessive compulsive disorder

Besides all the sufferings and pains
All the hopelessness and loneliness
All the criticism and point fingering
All the failures and darkness

I am still

Yes i am still hopeful
Seeing the ray of light
Wishing and working for success
I will smile
and yes
I would laugh
I would achieve everything back
Which the illness took from me
I will stand and try again and again
I will never accept the defeat

obsessive compulsive disorder you are not me nor my life
Nor my life´s destination
The one God is more stronger
Merciful, caring and loving
May God help me

Ameen