I want to apologize
for being a pain
for not listening
for not being....not me

I set goals for myself
the things that I should not do
I should not write to you
I should not bother you
promises that I break

Because, you know, you did not write back
and in my brain I know why
my obsession knows
I do not need to know your reasons
your logical, beliveable reasons
My brain and mind knows

I want to apologize
but I do not know how
because I try not to talk to you
It takes a lot of energy

I want to say sorry
because I am sorry
my dysfunctional brain
already gave me my questions and your answers
Several actually
That you don't want to talk to me,
that you hate me
that you are tired of me

I want to say I'm sorry
but I can't because I try not to talk to you
you've already answered by the way
and your answers hurt
even though you haven't given them

Only the you in my brain
who is in partner with the part that misses you
that likes you
the part that is in love

I am sorry
for the love
for the dysfunction
for being me

I am sorry