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This year there were no fires on the last of April

I have always loved looking into the flames

Standing close

To the colors

To the beauty in letting things go

Surrouded by people


The atmosphere

Welcoming the new


A poetic walking over the bridge from spring to summer waiting nearby

getting close to seasons changing

to light coming more and more to widen the day

embracing summer nights



Standing there by the fire and the heat

pooring pieces of my past into the waves of the fume

letting old pain become beauty

making new space in my heart

freeing old narratives

just standing there

majestically by the fire

and feeling the joy of crowds of people nearby

not knowing anything of what I have carried and given like logs to be turned

into smoke


This year we had no fire

It was quiet last night

no sounds of fire-crackers

not one single

It felt like no other last of April I have ever experienced


At night I dreamt I was standing in this beautiful old ruins

Seeing myself from the outside

The place felt ancient

Built with beautiful bricks, some gone and fallen,

it was as if I was protected and stood under this bridge of the remains 

of a medieval building

surroundined by lumionous greens grass

and I stretched my arms wide out

At the same time I saw this incredible thing happening


wings enfolding from and behind my arms 

the most clear and beautiful red large colored feathers lengthening my body

my arms clothed with wings

so much wider and larger than were my hands stopped reaching

larger than I could comprehend with my mind



I moved beyond the physical, it was so vivid and clear 

I was seeing the Phoenix within my soul

How these wings have always been there

even when I did not know


and all the struggles of my life

all the sadness

all that heavy processing that I have been doing lately

this image of myself was catharsic


All these years all my mending and standing up even on the days I didn´t know how

I had feathers growing

in my soul


These beautiful red feathers

I wish I could paint them for the world to see

But the only thing that means anything to me is that I have this image within me now

I do not have to comprehend it´s message on a physical level

I have never seen such beauty


Now I have seen myself from the outside

Beyond what is physical

My old wounds are cleansed and open

The past always transforms

I know this without comprehending its vastness with thoughts 


I stand in awe

carrying this feeling of beauty and freedom


I see my healing


I see this Phoenix


I see this new life


I see these beautiful red-feathered wings
























Fri vers av Zachrisdotter
Läst 64 gånger och applåderad av 3 personer
Publicerad 2020-05-01 10:46

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