Panic strikes me in the middle of the night.
It overpowers me with all its’ might.
I hit my head against the wall,
although I know it won’t help at all.
It makes me rip my skin,
causes explosions within.
I mentally batter myself,
put “the stupid prize” on my brain’s top shelf.
Desperately I turn my gaze up,
pray for this madness to stop.
I make promises I can only hope to keep,
before I restlessly try to go back to sleep.

The anxiety of letting people down,
it’s making me drown.
It’s so dark around me.
This demon which I cannot see,
brings me so much pain
the suffering fills my brain.
I am so paralysing scared,
as if my very soul is bared,
waiting for the final blow,
that’ll make true of what I already know.

The tears tried to wash away the fright,
but I was bound to loose that fight.
I tried to tear my hair,
but the fear is still there!
Nothing’s going to chase it away it seems.
Not even my panic filled screams.
I’m going to have to ride out this storm,
wait for the cold to turn warm,
hope that somehow I’ll survive,
come out at the other end alive.