Magical sensation

He:
Cigars and bars and
trolley cars take me
to my destination
and transport me to a land
of magical sensation

I want you to be Ingrid Bergman to my Humphrey Bogart
I want you to be Diane Keation to my Woody Allen
but most of all
I want You to be You to my Me
and together we'll find the right melody

When I touched you for the first time
I felt now there was at last a rhyme and
reason for my life

She:
I wasn’t very impressed
the first time I saw you
As a matter of fact
I didn’t fancy you at all

You spoke funny
You had small eyes
I couldn’t work out
if you were looking at me
or not

Once I figured that out
I realized that you looked at my breasts
before I had given you a signal
that it was ok to do that

And that haircut
What a weird haircut
you looked like something
out of an eighties movie

No I didn’t fancy you at all

Still, there was something there
that touched me…
But it was definitely not the haircut

He:
It sort of goes like this:

I give your hand a gentle squeeze
and shyly wait for a response
as time slows down
to a heartbeat, my heartbeat

Should I tell you I'm neurotic
and have OCD or wait till
we get closer
maybe that's safer
can't take too many chances

To say your skin is like silk
conditioned by baths of
exotic milk would be an
understatement

So smooth,
you press my hand and let
your fingers play over it

I take a sip of wine and taste
the flavour of the grape refined and
complex like your lips and want
to taste them too
Am I in too much of a rush?

Still, I am a believer in romantic love again
and all it portends
Your eyes are like the desert nights
filled with stars and
ethereal light

Your coy laugh is disarming and
starts to charm me
as I seek abandon

My heart sings a song
everlasting telling me I once again
belong to the land of the living in the
the land of the giving and I want
to give you all that I possess
but I don't really know you yet
kind a strange isn't it

Your beauty is like a mermaid's enchantment
Your long blonde hair flows in rivers of curls
and at last when your chest is bare it's very
fair indeed. Proud and noble globes
soft and tempting
crowned with the sweetest rosy buttons
that need no mending

I long to touch you in your
secret places but now my face is
blushing. Am I going too fast?
Haven't I learned the lessons of the past?

But still,
I want to sing a duet with you and
blend our voices
Making love to you perhaps I will feel the meaning
of union of being complete, completed
for the first time in my life
An unconditional surrender that begs no retreat

Then I'll go out and fly a
dragon kite emblazoned with
your picture like a magic
coat of arms so all can see
what your love has done for me
for miles around they'll hear the
sound of a life's destiny

I'm scared, I'm scarred but
I guess you gotta take a chance
If you want to swim you have to get in the water
and start the dance

She:
We sat opposite each other
the second time we meet
I still didn’t fancy you
but you spoke beautifully

Your mouth formed beautiful words
I liked them
And I started to like your mouth

..but why did you do those
funny things with your lips
I tried to figure it out

I started to wonder if I would like those lips to kiss me..
but you did strange things with your mouth
I couldn’t see your lips

and then..then I saw them
and I so wanted to touch them
I so wanted to feel them against mine
but where was your tongue

Kissing means touching each other’s tongues
and I kept thinking……

Is this the only person existing on this earth
that can talk without a tongue
and then…

I saw it
I liked your tongue
It was the most beautiful tongue
I had ever seen

Anyway, I still didn’t fancy you
Yes, I did like your lips and your tongue
But that is not enough to form a lasting relationship
Or is it…

He:
Well, it's our second date
and I was about 20 minutes late
You said that you didn't mind
But I somehow felt it was a
strike against me from your
faint smile that reminded me of our time
that was wasted

We had dinner by candlelight
and with the wine I thought
maybe we would ignite a spark
that would lead on to intimacy

You were polite and I felt uptight
We talked about jobs and family
and vacations we had taken
and hadn't

We left out the details about old flames
Which maybe was good - that kind of talk
often leads to expectations that cannot
be fulfilled not least by me at such a point
in a relationship

Do we have chemistry? What would happen
if I took your hand or leaned over and kissed
your lips between sips of Cabernet?

Then the conversation turned to politics and
religion and whether boys should receive
circumcisions and girls ballet shoes with leg precision
Luckily we got through this part without
fatalities as we turned our attention to
topics that could be settled without making
life changing decisions

So after we settled the question of can
the Greens get any greener and if the
Reds have lost their way we moved on to a
dessert of cherries jubilee and we agreed that we had to make
it an early night because we both had to work
early the next day, we shared a cab and
a steamy kiss and the promise of date number 3
within the next week as September turns into
October

She:
The third time we meet
I kept looking at your mouth
It did say so many beautiful things

I started to look at your hands
They seemed so soft
so beautiful…
Piano hands I thought

I started to wonder
what it would be like
if those fingers
were to touch my hair
My lips
My nipples

It was a thrilling thought
Still, can’t say that I fancied you very much

Maybe I was in denial
You put your arm around my waist
It was nice, but no big deal

I did think about what it would be like
to be naked and lay next to you
under you and feel you inside me

but yet again…I didn’t fancy you very much
it was no big deal

and then
all of a sudden

I became so aware of all of you
Your look
Your touch
Your fingers
Your eyes

you moved me
I felt so vulnerable
I felt connected
Felt that I gave you a part of my soul
So certain that I could trust you

Suddenly I didn’t know
How to be around you
I wanted you
so much to like me

actually I wanted you
to fall in love with me

and still
I wasn’t certain that
I fancied you

How confusing
emotions can be

All of sudden
my fantasies
were no longer
just fantasies

Your fingers in my hair
Your touch on my shoulders
my breasts
You everywhere

God I wanted you to
fill up my uterus
with your seed

So we did it
We did it

Shouldn’t the earth
be moving or something
but it didn’t
there was a silence

I know you held me
I could feel it
And still
I don’t think you were there

I so wanted to do all this again
Perhaps mostly the first part
The touch, the looks
The gentleness

But at the same time
I didn’t
Why was that
I wonder

Your were so perfect
It frightened me

Shit I was naked
But then
At the same time
I didn’t care

My soul
Who was I kidding?
myself
I never give my soul
to anyone
But I guess I nearly did
Since I became so frightened

Ok, so I did fancy you
I had been in denial
or not

He:
Now my life is in shambles
I guess that's what happens
when you are reckless and
gamble with love
golden strands of your hair
on my carpet are a treasure
I keep I put them on my pillow
just before I go to sleep
Somehow they are comforting
it's an emotional ambush
I tried to escape intimacy
again
It's hard to let life in
to let someone in
and be vulnerable
it's just so hard to begin
Am I retreating from myself
in the disguise of retreating from you
Am I retreating from the God that made me
from stardust and indigo blue
I still have your phone number on my
speed dial
"fool me once shame on you
fool me twice shame on me"
fool myself and I deny myself
a wealth of relationships

Is there a glossary
for intimacy
It's not like she's the last Pepsi on the desert

She:
We saw each other again
And you still fascinated me
but my heart didn’t pound
why didn’t it
It was exciting to feel your touch

Was this a nothing thing
Was I just horny
I refused to believe that
Everything was so romantic

I really think you were
The perfect guy

My mother would
hate you
that makes you
even more perfect in my eyes

So I guess I really
wanted all this
but did you
I wonder?

You said you did
But I couldn’t feel it
maybe I was just
being paranoid

I tell you this
if you
Are not going to
love me
I am certainly
not going to love you

Lot of guys fancy me
Well, maybe not lots
But Glen did
In fourth grade

I wonder what he is doing now

Anyway
Why did you not look
me in the eyes
you kept looking
at my mouth
and my breasts

What is the guy thing
with breasts

and then
you lifted me up
twirled me around
and shouted
you are mine now
and I am never
letting you go

I guess you convinced me
I was actually worth loving
What a wondrous feeling

So why aren’t we together now?

©Ann Nehlin & Louis Marshall Gould