You dropped a bomb and shattered my heart.
I put up a smile to your relief
but my insides were flooding with tears from the shards
as your smile couldn’t see my grief.
Convincing myself of getting over you
was like a mantra going in one ear and out the other.
Your flowers, your chocolate, your toothbrush I threw,
but they always seem to reappear one after another.
Just like my favorite song
the memory of us was on repeat;
sunrise sneaking up on your face in dawn
as you stroke my hand so discreet.
When you told me that you “really liked her” and named me as your “friend”,
was the very moment you buried me in the ground.
Climbing fences, crawling spaces, till I reached you to the very end,
still I couldn’t get you back with her around.
I bet I would be fine with losing you,
but reality hits hard as it damaged my world.
My favorite color became deepest blue
and our love gone into a broken pearl.
“You don't know what you got till it's gone” I ignored;
biggest mistake since my first one fooled me twice.
I couldn’t keep up with this game as I fell to the floor
during my revisit at the fool’s paradise.
But why stay when it seemed that you’ve already predicted the doom?
Why did you build me up so high just to watch me fall?
Why paint me as your guilty pleasure while bringing her up to the podium?
Why leave me naked before you invited her to the ball?
I miss your blue eyes gazing back at me
and your beard tickling my face
being in another world with you under the sheets,
those were the glory days.
We kissed goodbye the day before Christmas Eve
and left for our dear parents at home.
The scene replays in my head when I pass that street
leaving me with the biggest sorrow.
As the painful wounds of mine are healing,
I carry your love through my journey.
Passing by the two of you together on the ceiling,
I pray that these confessions won’t follow me.
Even though I admit that I love you
will I fight for that smile on my face
and endure it all the way through
as I catch your treacherous dreamy blue eyes gaze.