Never have I felt this free
Something is diffrent about me
I'm calmer then I ever been
It feels like I'm about to win

But unsure if I'm supposed to do this
I was prepared to fall into the abyss
I couldn't really imagine anything else
My best escape was doing drugs and having sex

And to feel that I actually can live again
AND for 6 months being sane
Scares me to the soul
I actually feel ...whole

Missing her wasn't the worst
It was neglecting my worth
And to build me up again is not an easy task
After going ten years with an unstable mask
I have waited to die for so long
And for the first time feel like I belong