What timeline is this
The one where I felt the pending doom
Of my numbered breaths
Held with such contempt at the finality of it all
But steady
Steady breaths
And a calm chest

But I was not called to answer
I was not the one chosen at the desk
With golden pen and ink dripping
It was your name
Written by itself

And I will rip the flowers from the earth
Screaming and fighting off
The very absurd fact
With beauty held in glass
And that final act

I curse my breathing
My steady breaths
And my calm chest

"infinitely suffering but fighting off like all creation, the absence of itself"
I hope they do

The children
And the flowers

And I will linger here
With words unspoken and shame for my contempt
The steady breaths
And calm chest
Never again