sometimes i eat pistachios
and i put the shells in my mouth to get all the salt
and i have nowhere to put the saliva-sticky shells
so i hoard them, in my mouth

the exact same way i used to do with cherry pits
while climbing a tree, each foot of height depicted
as another dent in my cheek

mouth dripping with sweet, red juice
staining my clothes
hands sticky from sugar
the tree clings to them

i climb another branch and when i see my palm
it's all red
bits of moss
bark

mouth full
daring
there's a lot of cyanide in there
a swallow and it all goes away
i'm not yet at an age where i consider it all going away

i sit on the tallest, safest branch
i spit out the pits
one after the other


the inside of my cheeks hurt
edges of the pale green shell biting into them hard
the salt is doing the best it can to make sure it hurts
and that it hurts good in a way that's bad

i consider
i spit them out, too
there's no poison in them anyway