She is probably gone forever. On Earth. In heaven (some kind) we meet again. Every letter since our first departure was probably in vain. I had to do it, and I grew from it, for that matter. Who knows, before when I expressed dissatisfaction I got attraction. Again, not counting on it. Despair/Bliss are so closely related and when you reach despair, you lie, in bed fetal position, and shake. I am hoping I won’t take it thaaat far, thaaat hard, and I had to follow through with my heart. As that simply. And as said I have grown, but getting old; i’m 46. Sunday it will be sent. Sunday 18 may, and I feel… mostly anxiety. I had… < forget what I was going to write > .

I was let share,  Thank You