I don't know what happend
I used to be happy
All rainbows and sunshines
But now i find myself in the bathroom floor hoping the silenced scream directly from my lungs are enough.
Enough to get it all out,
And it is.
The cold tiles pressed on my face reminding me I still exist.
Could it be depression?
Sleepless nights or sleeping too much.
Empty stomach or overeating.
Too much silence but never too much to say.
Never really the type to tell them what i have to say.
Because who actually cares what i got to play?
All i am ever usefull for is comfort,
Warmth and straight.
Like Lord Barkis once said "always the brides maid, never the bride. Tell me my dear, can a heart break once it's stopped beating?"
And I can confirm it can.
Gotten it broken so many times it stopped beating but still there on my feet making sure they are not breaking.
"Always the brides maid never the bride" I live by that, no. I live in that.
All I am really asking, when is it my turn?
When is it my turn to finally be seen, heard, understood. When is it my turn to be the bride?
Because right now all I ever do is hide