It was made for a little alone time and a for me easily recognizable and fully well-supplied indifference to all the torments of existence.

(Soon afterwards I became far too insightful again; too fully and clearly aware and true, may it so be that the whole thing was delivered outwardly somewhat artificially.)


I remember the realization that my inner self is invisible and hidden from others and cannot be highly appreciated and loved enough according to merit and this is set against the fact that it is not something I desire anyway...

The realization that gladness, pleasures, happiness, love, everything pleasant, all the good things in life were valued far much lower than my daily small petty projects and inner-outer excursions, which is completely deranged seen from the outside, but it still leaves material out here in Reality to be able to view and sense in a real and lasting preservation; Which gives much more than the relatively insignificant experiences of my inner personal and egoistic feelings. (Inner wear and tear like this have long been my hobby and inner-outer lifestyle.)

The salary? I take the salary for my inner self directly according to a home-made value scale.


You said it was too personal and nakedly revealing, to no avail.

I listened, but still refused to wither away.


I will soon blossom again...