it's sex in the sky

shooting falling shining


the drama of the trauma
is my traumatic drama

I tell myself it was a theater play
where I was playing lead

curtains in yellow and green
silent laughing tears
horror in my dreams

you thought I was okay
since I always laughed and smiled

but inside I was already gone
drowned in tears
covered in dust

I knew that my smile was my only way out
I didn't want my hands to burn
I didn't want my bones to grind

so I laughed

today I smile when I fall on my knees
laugh when people dies
when I am alone

the only time I cry
is when you say

something funny

like the joke about you loving me.