Richard Pidgeon
appear before the bench
you are charged
with a penal code offence

Here we speak the Queen's English
and REALLY son you
sound kind of dense

Take it easy now, boy
you appear to be tense
Do you have
anything to say in
your defence?

At stand and deliver
Richard started to quiver
and threw himself on the
mercy of the few

"Come, now boy
speak up,
speak up
but be terse"

"We have other cases
in the dock
and must follow
Big Ben's
ticking clock"

"Tick, tock
young sir
tick tock"

the charges that be

"It says here
you were
apprehended
after a dead end dash"

"but your mate
had stopped like
bricks, yes bricks
a ton"

"and when you were
approached by the
Constable
why did you run?"

"I guess it was a
natural thing
'fight or flight'
as the scientists say"

"So why did you stop
your hasty retreat
and return to certain
incarcertion and a
stale jail ham and
cheese sandwich to eat?"

"My friend was
apprehended
and I was alone
abroad
I figured we would
talk and put together
a fraud"

"But they placed us in
separate lock-ups
and I went off my
bean
began to rail against 'The Man'
in a high pitched scream"

"The court hopes you
have learned a lesson
while travelling in our realm
young squire,
in your cell you simmered
and did perspire"

"Your visa is about to expire
you are banished from this
glittering isle for three months
time...this is the Court's desire"

"On your way out
please remember to close
the wooden gate and fence
and please don't forget
to pay the ballif
12£ and 50 pence"

"On account of your
forefather's achievements
we are being so lenient"
We'll keep the evidence
and I will consider it
further this evening
followed by a mint...

and afterall, afterall
Richard it was just a
minor offence"

the apache kid