Lola Linorum

33 år

från Stockholm

Dagbok

Dagbok - Juni 2007

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\'man kan säga att jag talar av egna erfarenheter:D:D\' nä men helt ärligt, jag kände att jag behövde emo-a mig lite, i brist på annat. och vad annars än på engelska \'lixom azzå shit azzå\'

Måndag den 18 Juni 2007

jupp. thats love.

and so at last the last of my

childish

innocence

was ript away from me.

it was unavoidable.

but the fact that

it would go so fast

i did not count on.

i wasn\'t prepeard for this!

if someone ever told you that you are always
a child deep inside, someone lied.
you can do all kinds of horilble tings and have all kinds of sex but the last
trace of that little child isn\'t gone untill you swim in the pool of broken hearts.

\'oh my life is great and this love will always last! love is invinsible!!\'

yeah right...

you find someone hwo makes you feel good 24-7 and you float around on
...
pink clouds or something like that.

then your best friend shows up in the picture. still everything is great.
for like three days.
then your partner and your friend start spending time together and your
starting to get worried. of cuorse you deny it, buy the feeling is still nagging
you deep in the back of your head.

\'Omg what am i even worried for? He\'s my best friend, he\'d never do
something like that! i\'m ashamed of my self for even thinkin these kinda
thoughts. Bad! Bad! Bad!
...
maby i should call them, you know, just to check out what\'s
happening..?\'

anyway, at a party your partner drops the biggest bomb ever on you, and
tells you that shes bin told to chose between you and you friend.
this comes as a real newaflash to you, and you just accept the fact that she\'s bin cheeting on you.
after some crying and whining about how hard this decision is(from your
partners side, your to shocked to cry, or even get mad) she makes her mind
up and goes for your best friend. \'ok whatever\' you say and pretends like you
dont realy care. you say, \'maby i should go home\'. she anwsers \'no, no, dont let this ruin the night for you! cant you stay?\' \'... yaeh wahtever.\'

kinda unnecessary.. like, why the hell should you stay!? what keeps you there? your love and hope on your ex, that she\'s gonna change her mind. so naive, so young and naive...

later, when the beer\'s out and the party is over, when your all heding home, your (now ex)partner and you best friend sitt on the subway and hold each other. \'ok, i cant take this anymore! i\'m gonna go over there and tell them to at least show some sympathy/respect!\'
but ofcuorse you stay on you seat like the poor dog you are
and watch them sitt there and hold each other, lookin all in love and shit.

the day after you go home to your friend to talk a bit. and whos there you
think? well isnt that your ex? why of course it is.

\'thats it! i\'m outta here! cya! NOT!!\'

*thats what i should have done. but no, i\'m just sittin here and accepting everything.*

the end

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