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You would think that someone would Know the Time herself, but she hides tricky and is always one step ahead of you.


Time

Sometimes you see a glimpse;
of the future
in the hands of a clock.

A moment from now,
in the shadows of the foreseen
it is vague and mysterical.

A memory of something
that has not yet passed
is scary but nice.

Sometimes I think
that I saw what lay before me
but then realised I was wrong.

My watch had stopped,
it broke when I dropped it
into the the puddles on my path.




Fri vers av Xori
Läst 446 gånger
Publicerad 2006-03-13 22:02



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    fungi
quite simple language, but nothing wrong with that. otherwise there's one stanza that's a bit odd:

A moment from now,
in the shadows of the foreseen
is vague and mysterical.

apart from the fact that th word "mysterical" doesn't exist (but it's cool, so I'm not asking you to take it away), there is something wrong. may I suggest?

A moment from now,
in the shadows of the forseen
IT is vague and mysterical (mysterious)

otherwise a cool poem. do you see the future as shadowed? I see (mybe a bit boringly so) the past as shadowed, as that is the path we have walked on. The one ahead is blank, but for the little we can see just ahead of us. I know right now, for example, that I'm going to play badminton this afternoon. But who knows. And naturally, one might have the sun in one's back...
2006-03-18
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