Jokes with Russians.

A Soviet agent is sent in the US work for K.G.B. for a period of two weeks, all things go well, seemed like espionage is simple, until one morning the door "American" red ring 3 guys with dark glasses as a closed. Rigid and dominant:

Sir, you need to talk!

IL grab the Russian, throws in a limo with opaque windows and half hour later he was in a dark room and from behind a desk a voice was saying:

Sir Ivan you carry out spy on...

  Subordination of computer network composed of...

  And mailboxes that you use are...

As you can see we know everything but we are looking for talented agents like you, we would like to join us.

Obviously adequate protection, including family members or change of name, address, plastic surgery + a salary considerably.

  So, you work for us?

Ivan drove not even a word.

-I understand - Says the voice - it's a tough decision for a party member.

  You have an hour to choose...

  After an hour back type:

-So, Mr. Ivan?

Ivan still silent.

-It Seems that I did not understand, 'says the guy. Guys...

Follow a beat and weather:

Blood, broken teeth, fractures, fingers in the door frame, etc...

-How Remain, Sir Ivan?

Ivan silent Malcea.

Follows a period of 2 weeks of treatment similar, even "improved".

Ivan resisted heroically. Finally Americans conclude:

-God's got the hammer and sickle tattooed on his heart.

Do not remove anything from it. However, because who resisted treatment break even on the hottest in 2 hours, to make them the favor of the USSR in his parachute.

So what is happening, and Ivan is found half frozen and full of wounds, the companions.

It is transported in the best military hospital after months of treatment, at discharge is received by president who declares "Hero of the Soviet people" and generally advancing it, calling him head of Soviet espionage.

  Not long after the oath is invited to a spy school where its head around his obsequious royal inviting him to give the stories of young students to be able to resist and her "atrocious treatments applied Veros imperialists" to not disclosing state secrets and service:

-Mister Generally shares them from your rich experience!

Ivan, prematurely aged by beating received, she surrounds students with a look warm, fatherly and says the words watershed:

- Guys fucking learn a foreign language

That will knock that Americans of bullshit on you!