för den delen, jag försöker komma fram till sanningen, vad som hände

i just wonder what she is doing these days,

she could be dead,

i could be jealous,

she could be with another guy,

she could be studying,

she could have a rich social life,

i don’t think about her that much

but know she is the inspiration and motivation in my life

and i could give some ''updates''

basically it involves four subjects    ali a narc  ,    kindgren  ,    psychiatry  ,    police

or the letters went through, and i have to say the right things, or, possibly, nobody cares

or other possibilities exist

there is meaning to my life i pretend, I realize sometimes, there isn’t

any which way I am 46 and can not take this Shit anymore, Jumping

i have been thinking about what my last thought will be, maybe ''she maybe wasn’t true, if so I forgive her''