She asked if my parents were on my nerves
just as hers were.

I told her that one day you'll realize
that it's all done in this form
to show you affection.

She cares.

I miss someone asking me where I've been,
or why I hadn't cleaned my room.

Like a flower in a desert,
I had to raise myself.

None cared.

Everyone knew that I was the child
whose parents both died from cancer
but none really knew
who had replaced my mother figure?

Like a convict on trial,
the truth hurts.

Mine's cursed.

A paradox within a vortex but what is worse?
Having your parents by your side, but they feel like complete strangers?
Or having strangers by your side
that you had hoped were your parents?

The feeling of being lonely
has haunted humanity for centuries.

Cell-phones really live up to their name.

For incarcerated thoughts
scribbled on a device longing for redemption.

So when you get the chance, travel the world.
You'll understand how lucky you are.

For poverty
is not understanding modesty,
but realizing through reflection
who took care of you
when you couldn't walk.

Intoxicated by our own careless reasons to judge,
we whine.

So I search for leprechauns,
birds poop,
unicorns,
falling stars!!

Walking around with coins that I find
and place them inside of my shoes
just to be able to make a wish
to bring my parents back.

Some resurrected Christ,
others resurrected childhood dreams.

I just want my parents back.
As selfish as it may seem.

I just want to know the simplest of things,
like them looking at me during breakfast
and asking rhetorical questions like,
"Aren't you going to finish your eggs?"

THEY CHOSE TO HAVE ME

I never chose to have them

WE’RE BORN TO DIE!

Every living soul shall taste death
but the families whose time has yet to come
don't always get to witness their last breath.

Yet, swearing upon what hides beneath our chest,
we tend to remember though
what was last said.

Ironic how my zodiac sign is a cancer.

Chemo, we're not all equal
A sequel isn't for all people.

We didn't have enough money
to send her for checkups.

So I slowly saw how her eyes would change
as the angel of death
would visit us all too often.

And it was soon time for us
to count our losses.

She would look at me, and smile.
Wouldn't say how proud she was of me
because she still thought that she had time.

Today I don't wear watches,
to always remind myself
that we don't have time.

If time was a button on the keyboard,
I'd remove the top left button
to make sure it wouldn't escape.

Like she did.

And unlike the people of Assassin
cancer is an even greater killer.

It doesn't discriminate.
Nor does it warn you
that you are a victim.

Christian or not,
you can get caught
in the middle of a crossfire,
with contemplations
about the effects of stigmata.

Never been religious,
but slowly wish to see
just a glimpse of light.

A similar feeling of hope
like when the doctor said,

“Things are looking good.
Things are looking bright.
We managed to remove it all.”

To only wait six months
and re-welcome a feeling
you had thrown away
but forgot to empty the trash.

So the thought starts to rott within you.

We'll explain in great detail to a child
why he or she shouldn't smoke.
But we'll lie to ourselves,
and rest upon the thought that:

“It can't happen to me.
Out of all these people on earth,
it couldn't happen to me.”

As if that's how it works.

Happy thoughts lead to happy people,
while o.g legends like John tell us
how we're just ordinary people.

As ironic as a fireman getting fired,
or a homeless person giving you a key thought
to make you feel right at home.

You can't know what your kingdom is worth
until you no longer are an heir to the throne.

Please, be the original never the clone.

For clones have faults.
Multiply negatively,
and produce more cells
to leave the body infected.

F * * * cancer.

Pardon my language,
but I couldn’t find a stronger word to use.

So there she was
forced to look at the clock
that was hanging on the wall.

The reminder.

That with life,
we never know
how much time
we have left.