I am happy
..I am !
I dont blame you I blame myself.
I have everything Ive ever wanted.
Life with you, life with you, I have you!
You made me believe my dreams are real.
Am I still dreaming? Thats why I dont feel -
what humans should.
Thats beyond my controll

There are missing parts in my life..black holes,
They are endless and cold.
I am picky. I am fat.
I am brainless. And Im sad.
I accepted all that but -
I dont want to be a plastic doll.

I want to feel. I want to love, I want to live!
Goddess, dont take that away from me.
I know Im heard. Of that Im sure.
When I wished for rain it rained
When I wished for wind- it blew in the same moment
..but when I beg for feelings I get no respond.
I know you hear my cries
but why do you let me be cold?.
Watching how everything slowly dies
making me to a plastic doll?

I hear you tell all those sweet words.
I cant answer, but I hear you my love.
Lack of emotions is my shadow -though I dont want..to be followed.
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you.
How much I admire and love you keeper of my heart.
So I wrote it down and put it on your pillow.