this is not a poem

I was just wondering what it is that I just can't quiet get a grip on.
I have been told not to desire. So I decide not to desire anything.
The problem is that I am desiring not to desire. stail mate or what?

Then I was told to stop thinking of myself as seperate from everything else. I was told that we are all little bits of the universe designed so that the universe can look at its self. Fair enough. But I cannot shake off the "I" in me. If we are all the same. if we are all apples from the same tree, and ultimatly, "the tree" then why is it so bolldy hard to not see myself as seperate from the tree? I know I am a part of the tree, but cannot accept it.

I was also told not to see "me" as a little man who sits behind my eyes with a little steering wheel and a truck load of controls, levers and buttons. But that's what I feel. That's what we feel. How can I shake it off? I can't desire to shake it off, because desiring is feeding the ego, and apparently, we are not supposed to have one.

Fetus.se