What if it's forced?
this happiness?
maybe, I'm not really happy
I'm just so fucking desperate to BE happy
that I created happy
by myself
but you're still part of it
so, are you faking it too?
'cause I don't think I'd like that
lets just pretend we're really happy, right?
I've pretended for so God damn long
I'm not sure I'd recognize real happiness if it
sat in that
appartment
ten minutes away from here
apparantly I didn't
since it's gone now
that happiness


the thing is
I left it
'cause there was too much sadness
so I gave up the happy
but now
afterwords
the happy went away
but the sadness didn't go
it stayed
so I gave up happy
for sadness?
does that mean I should have stayed?
then at least I would have that bit of happy

what a shitty choice