For so long I have walked this way
The path of the broken and woeful
And as I reach out for the blade
To end it all, I realize, I reconcile

Not a coward, I put death aside
To deal head-on with what pains my life

To survive I have to kill
Not myself, but my emotions still
I have to act like I am fine
While feeling nothing at all inside

It may not be an easy feat
But trust me, it's this end I'll meet

Survival is my only option
And the emotional close-down is near
I adjust myself even more each day
And rid myself of pain and fear

My only question about what I do
Is if I still will be able to love you?

I am not certain, nor am I sure
But I have to risk it to be yours
For if I can't block out the suffering you give
I won't even have a month left to live