The city was dead of all movement and life as Satan's red light first appeared on the horizon. It was a small city compared the those of his youth and yet it was the largest in both size and population one could find on the Grey Raven. He starred mesmerized as the crimson red slowly painted the white peeks and grey valleys until it finally reached him on the balcony.

"Beauty" it was only a shadow of what he felt yet those were the words that slipped his tongue. Awe might define it better, but it did not matter. The feeling was what he desired not the words to name it.

As he observed the world from his refuge he also became it. The lakes, the city, the sun all crimson, all awe and all him. What he was only some moments ago did not exist, never had. A flash of matter left the body of his sun only to be pulled in by its mass, a desolate mark of grey became a field of red and a city dead of all lit up. He drank the last of the coffee and swallowed the last of the scenery before finally retreating inside.

The apartment he rented was nothing to brag about, small and dull but the view was something that could not be found on earth nor anywhere else that he knew of. In addition, the rent was cheap as you would expect here on the edge of the world. He turned to the TV at the short end of the wall and was about to enter the command for the old earth movie channel when he was interrupted by a hard knock on the door. The kind of knock only made by an angry neighbor or a good friend playing a joke.

"Did I miss it?" Tomkins asked when the door opened in a tone as if she had just woken up.

"Only by a minute this time" Satan's summit was something that could only be seen from the highest of places in the city and was the reason he chose to live here.

It didn't face her; no more than it had the countless other times she had come to pick him up. Besides he was always the one encouraging her to see it, she had other things to keep her mind occupied.

"Tomorrow is another day" she said with a wistful smile. She was a short girl with a red pimple filled face. Not the sort who should smile wistfully.

He gestured to the rustic elevator at the end of the hallway and they began their decent.

The world seemed much grayer from the ground than it had been at his nest. So much so it was hard to believe he was still on the same planet. The grey oily stone of the Grey Raven drank in almost all light and left little to the life fighting to survive. The planet did not have much in the ways of local flora and the plants that had been imported quickly lost their complexion.

It was still early so the streets was filled with the parked vehicles belonging to the residents of the apartment complex. The sidewalks were covered with the tableau and posters of the local papers all stilled with the portraits of the front runners in the UN election. Raven was populated by outcasts, misfits and people with a twisted sense of adventure yet news from earth exited them.

"This could really be it" she had been talking about Dr Connor's latest promising string of data. She continued.

"If this really is as big as he thinks it is, this really could be it. I mean think about it. We would get bonuses; vacations and we might even get promoted or famous!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah maybe" he was curious in an objective way, but the spark of a young scientist had faded, and the promise of bonuses seem unlikely.

After about fifty meters they reached Tomkins red hover car. It was an uncommonly fair car for this part of the world with black leather seats and a v6 flight module. Not that it mattered in the city since flight by cars had been prohibited due to too many casualties. He sat down next to the driver seat, his right arm resting on the door. She took off as he derived his attention to the stereo between them. He finally settled on a local station playing The Passenger by a long since dead poet from old earth. That was the beauty of Grey Raven, things long since discarded by the older systems could find new life here. Then the city closed around them with its high densely positioned towers.

"This city is a maze" he said with a soft resonance, more to himself than the girl beside him. She did not bother to answer, her two eyes harshly fixed on the road in front of them.

As the car moved so did his mind and with his thoughts came sentiment. His being was filled with an emptiness, but for a deep desire. A desire for life, for something more, for calmness and peace. It was his only vital sign for without it there was nothing distinguishing him from the long since buried poet from old earth. The desolation and the want were familiar to him and in a sense, they were his oldest friends, but their strength had grown and was slowly drowning all else. Back on earth he had been more, but that was long ago. His greed and curiosity had taken most of it from him and the Raven had taken the rest.

The red hover car swiftly rolled into the oldest part of the city as the sound of the music faded into the voice of the broadcaster.

"It seems that Raven may be destined for new life once again" it was the voice of young man, a tone of high excitement.

"Sources tell us that A.G Corp may have found a new massive metal deposit right here on Raven. If there was ever a time to invest and bring your families I think it's now" Tomkins glanced at him with a worried look. Someone had leaked, and Dr Connor would not be happy.

"This is gonna be a long day" she said. He replied with a shot nod as the car stopped at the small parking lot to the research facility.

He spent that day avoiding the Doctor and looking at the screen in front of him. It was expected of him that he would find at least some evidence of a score as they called it, but tensions were higher now and so was the pressure. Most scores they found were usually too far down or otherwise unable to make profits from, but this time expectations were different. He must have gotten a bad part of the data because he hadn't found even a trace of anything but soil all day. Maybe there was nothing more left. The planets size was many times smaller than that of earth or mars, but the density was much higher. At least it used to be. In recent years so much of the resources hidden under ground had been removed and shipped of too wealthier systems that the planet had become lighter along with everything on it.

He thought about the consequences of his failure. He just needed to focus more tomorrow. It's not that hard. Of course, he knew it was harder than that and the additional stress didn't exactly make it easier. Would they really fire him?

"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad" he murmured. It would though. The pay wasn't good or anything, but he needed it non the less. The thought left him with a profound feeling of powerlessness. Anxiety. The more he thought about the past he loved, and all the beautiful moments of his childhood the more he saw the poison in them. It was not he all love and happiness. There were struggle and fear, things no child show ever experience. Yet most did in difference ways. It was still part of him. What we saw as gods were all humans, no more than ourselves, but hopefully they loved us.

Searching desperately for anything that would grant some sliver of control he pulled out an old pocket knife. Stabbing the table in front of him proving each time to himself that he in fact oversaw his destiny. The more force he added the better it felt. Again, again, again. Intoxicated on the feeling he swiftly moved the blade to his throat pushing it hard against his skin as all emotions in his body screamed. The intensity of the moment made all else disappear, he was no longer trapped, in fact now his power over his existences was endless. This too felt good, even more so than the stabbing, at least for a while. Suddenly he was hit by a terrifying feeling. Not that he would slip and cut himself, but how easy it would be to drag the blade towards his shoulder and how little he feared it. In fact, he was more afraid of the pain it would cause than the result it would have on his life. Shaking his hand opened and gravity stole his knife from him. Stole the moment and the authority it had granted him.

He turned off the screen with a sigh and left the building. He checked his credit balance on public screen nearby. Like the Raven resources his too was dwindling. Nothing could be done though for want had become need and his reality craved life. He needed life. His pace quickened faster and faster. His feet led him without the aid of his mind, yet he was not wandering, there was a purpose. He wondered if even could stop himself, if he could take back control of his body. It did not matter, he didn’t, he didn’t want to. Instead he encouraged his feet. Feeding them with longing, craving, everything he had until he saw it.

Then he saw it. A small building with a straight flat roof attached to a yellow blinking silo. The atmosphere always reminded him of the arcades he used to visit as a child back on old earth. He had spent so much time at those arcades that even the sight of it made him feel like home.

"Why did I ever leave" The words came out more as a sigh than anything else. It was a question he knew the answer to, but he couldn’t make sense of it. He had been a different man, now he nearly not a man at all.

"you want the gliders?" The old man behind the desk recognized him immediately. I come here to often he thought with a chuckle.

He nodded as the old man took out a pair of black plastic boots with a pressure module at the heels, faded by the long years of its life. He paid and saw as half of his credits quickly disappeared. Dammit, he knew this had to be the last time before his next pay, but he feared that it would not. With the boots on his feet he half ran, and half swept across the room to the middle of the silo.

His heart was beating harder and harder as he cleared the center his mind. He took a breath then another before he launched himself into the sky faster and faster until Satan's red light seemed to pierce right thru him. Suddenly there was color, light and beauty and the faster he went the more returned to him. Fear and excitement yet peace and calm became him. He felt his first kiss and felt his first love as he swirled around above the now crimson world, but most of all he felt life, true life. He was human, he was home. He climbed higher until the gliders reached its max then he climbed even higher still. Death did not concern him now, only what he felt in this moment for it was all that truly mattered. As he flew he felt a unity with Grey Raven because in truth it too flew, endlessly thru the cosmos and gravity was its wings like the gliders was his own. He thought about how few people ever got the chance feel it. No matter how close two people could be they were never one. No one can know you like you know yourself. We are all locked in our own minds, our cages reaching and begging to heard, felt and understood. But in the end, we all fail. We even fail at trying when the fear is too strong to share our deepest sensitivities. But not for him, not now, for now he was alive and fear coward at life.

To fly was as easy as to walk, easier in fact. The eyes choose, and the gliders responded with a decisiveness he seldom experienced. His existence was that of second guessing, but now action was easy. His curiosity slowly pulled him towards the long finger-like granite at the end of the city. The white snow on the mountain tops sparkled as they reach for the ever-avoiding sun, as it in turn cried out in approval, pulsing, raging, a howling storm.

As he moved each moment embraced him along with the sights and colors. They all fused into one instant, one endless instant. The future and past were powerless against him in the far reaches of his mind. Then as brisk as it had come it was over. His wings called him back, pulled him closer and closer to the desolate planet. He fell through the silo and his world was gray once again. Each time he flew it awakened something in him, but each time he landed it killed more than it had brought. It was all he wanted, but somehow it made him cold instead of warm. He told his body to move and it slowly replied. He walked as his legs fought him at every step, the high towers of the city closing in, strangling, suffocating. He wondered if Tomkins had been waiting for him at parking lot. In truth he did not care, maybe he had lost that part of him too. At least the want was gone, now there was nothing, but nothing he could deal with, nothing was who he was. He stood, and the city moved around him, shops, apartments and cars all part of someone's life. What they thought was life, yet they were wrong, he and he alone knew the truth. They all lied to themselves in thinking they were happy. They weren't, they couldn’t be. Not in a place like this.

Suddenly he stood at a dark alley dimly lit by the street lights above him. His gaze was caught by the flash of a sign. He followed the path towards it, taking every chance that fate bestowed upon him. When the words finally were readable, he did recognize it. A local bar frequented by the crews on the ships who came trading from old earth, Mars and other such places. Even though Grey Raven was remote, trade was its lifeblood. Since not much grow here almost all food had to be imported. Ships came almost every week bringing the necessities of life then leaving with minerals and other more suspect commodities. Outside the concrete walls there was silence, but once inside the volumes reached as high as the streets on the high Six Moon festival. Some old country song mixed with the words and laughter of the visitors echoed of the walls and roof of the tavern. As he viewed the interior of the lounge he glimpsed an empty secluded table in small room at the back-door exit.

He sat down and noticed to his surprise that he liked it here. It was not what he expected, but the old wooden furnisher and load voices reminded him of earth. He never thought he could ever go back there. Now he was not so sure. He still had family on earth, surely, they would take him in until he could find a job and somewhere to live. There were probably some work there for someone with his experience.

"Yeah" the words came out without him even realizing. This felt right, he needed earth again, he needed his mother if only for a short visit.

"What?" The annoyed voice of pale man shook him from his trance. He looked up with confusion written on his face. He realized he had mistaken the man for pale. In fact, he was white, whiter than he thought any man could possibly be with a single tail of light blue hair dripping from his forehead.

"Do you want to order?" The tone of the waiters' voice implied that this was not the first time he had asked but would most certainly be the last. He ordered a tall glass of blue malt beer and saw the waiter off with a forced smile. The stack of empty glasses rose as the hours became later. He brooded on the past and dreamt of the future until his entire life became a blur of fantasies. He decided that in the end belief is worth more than truth if it could only help him face the morning. Blur quickly turned to haze than haze to blackness.

He fixed his eyes on the ancient wrist watch he had inherited from his father, but it was too dark to see, and the night had devoured his senses. Tired, so tired. He struggled to reach the door to his nest. He sought his bed with all his being, but when the door finally opened there was a calling. The kind of calling a man cannot refuse, the kind that comes from your very soul. He was after all a scientist and did not believe in a soul, yet that's where it came from. Satan had begun his decent this time shrouded in the darker color of winter green. He pulled himself onto the railing of the balcony and watched. Just to get another glimpse of emotion. It was less this time, still awe, but less. Each time it was less, always less. The veins of his city pulsing below him in an endless ritual to mankind. His drunken state had been replaced with a deep clarity, both in mind and body. And with it came a realization, this was who he was, what he was. The Grey Raven was him and he was it. Earth was just an ever-fading fever dream. He wounded if it had ever been real at all or only the delusion of a lost man demanding an anchor. It did not matter, a dream or not, he would never see it again. It has all a double-edged sword to live in utter darkness, mixing it with these lights. It broke the mirage and showed him how colorless it all was, yet without these moments of light there was nothing to live for. He understood it all now and it was so easy. How many lives was wasted in search for truth, when the most fundamental truth of the universe was meaninglessness. Cause and effect, action and reaction. One event after another slowly molding the world until the world made us. No choice and no purpose. In a great irony it made our nature that of questioning, always looking for meaning in a place where it could never exist. Will, chaos and worth are all delusions, a cosmic joke. A laughter filled his mouth and ears, echoing between the rooftops. The wind grabbed him, pushed him, pulled him yet there was no fear. No true fear at least only the shadow of it. Fear of the fear that might come. He closed his eyes as Satan disappeared with a faint promise of its return. His heart was beating harder and harder as he cleared the center his mind. He took a breath than another before he gave himself to the Ravens Wings.