you say you'll stay but you go anyway. you say: wait for me. I see you disappear further and further away and I stand there waiting. I stand and see you get further and further away.when I walk outside I feel the cold snowflakes in my face and the snow under my feet. I see your footsteps disappear under the new snow. I understand that what I just heard was your goodbye, you wont comeback. I feel myself drifting further and further away from reality. I sink down in the snow and can no longer feel the cold snow. my senses disappeared at the same time as you did. Now I can do anything and i wont feel it. the only thing left that hurts is the wounds in my heart. it's not a big heart, because every time you have left a bit of it disappeared.

I decide that i wont let anyone close again. I turn my heart into stone and becomes the cold person again. the one who wont open up to anyone. which shouldn't exist, but just slides in and leaves deep marks in all those I meet. with the heart of stone, I will survive. survive by not feeling anything. by not letting anyone get close ever again.

the butterflies dare not to get close anymore, afraid that i will crush them. it is like a wall around the girl who sits alone, a wall no one gets through. the wall has gained a strong defense for the small parts of the heart that remains. the wall is infinitely high and infinitely thick. a wall built to never be demolished and never be crossed. a wall to keep a heart caught. a wall to save a soul.

from the inside the heart hears the music. the music it once used to dance to. the music makes the heart remember. the music did not understand how much damage it actually did at that moment. the music makes the heart break even more. the music makes it fall apart again. the wall reacts and make itself stronger. stronger in order to save the soul. so that it will not die completely. the body gives the wall a medal, a medal for how to react. a medal for saving the soul. the soul which doesn't really want to be trapped, the soul just wants to experience love again and have one last chance at happiness. but neither the wall or the body allows it. for it knows how it's been all the other times. how many times the soul has fallen and been crushed piece by piece.

the girl with the wall infinitely high and infinitely thick. with a heart trapped forever, so it wont be hurt again and ultimately kill the soul completely. a girl who is now all alone when the music is no longer allowed to come close.