I didn’t ask anyone to bring me to this life
or being born.
I didn’t ask to be loved or wanted.
I never asked for my mother´s caress on
her pregnant belly with me inside.

I didn’t ask to feel the smell of her perfume.
I try to close my ears, because I don’t want to hear
her voice or her cry of despair.
I don’t want to feel close to her
or begin to love her, because I know that
my  life will end.

I don’t want to hear the quarrel between her
and my father.
Their arguments makes me feel
terrified and helpless.
I didn’t ask to be a part of their lives.
They gave me vital force, but
I never asked for it!

I’m their forbidden fruit and therefore they
can’t accept me.
They try to hide me so no one knows that I exist.
They despise me and I’m a unexpected part
of their lives.
I can see the shining light disappear and
the smell of my mothers
perfume fade away.

I can’t hear her indignant voice
any longer.
I’m a victim of their death sentence and they
finish my life.
I leave a life that wasn’t meant for me
to discover.

Copyright © Anneli Sörqvist