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Suspended on the edge of a question.


Like single shattered glass hanging from the sight of a window. His mind knows the answers to these questions. But his heart can not stop asking them.
These aren't cognitive inquires as much as emotional longings, a twisted emotion, twisted into the shape of a question. It is a feeling of disorientation.

I suspect here are things that no one will never know about you. You live your life possessing qualities, thoughts and feelings. That no one else. Nothing else, will ever know. Like a locked box of secrets of the natural world. The phenomena inside the universe inside your head, will be exclusively yours, until the end of everything. The things you never tell anyone, the things you never admit, the things you can never access or share because you don’t have the words will forever remain a real but hidden part of the cosmos. In part this is profoundly beautiful, we each have this singular pact between us and the configurations of the universe’s matter that always keeps its promise to never tell.
But also, this can be isolating.
There is so much in our mind no one will ever touch, that will never be consoled, will never be reassured, will never hear anyone say “I understand”.
So much of what we think and feel is simply too odd or disconcerting to share with anyone. And even if we do. It’s often filtered to some vague watered-down version. It isn’t our fault. The mind seems in built with this filter and sensitivity. A need for acceptance and favourable appearance. Our skull, merely armor for the pink naked pasty body inside of it, afraid of the world seeing it. For what it really is.

No one has ever properly understood me, I have never understood anyone; and unsure if anyone understands anyone else. An inherent existential loneliness. A backround hum we hear. Unsure if anyone else does, or if it is just inside our head. Ironically though. This feeling of separateness, of isolation seems to connect us all.
At the end of the day. Maybe everyone is identical in their secret unspoken belief, that way deep down, they’re different from everyone else.




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Publicerad 2023-10-17 08:31



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