Verse 1
The Enzymologian Society
Announced there would be a grand competition
Contestants all gentlemen of highest propriety
To reach Vmax was their singular mission
Like Scott’s and Amundsen’s teams explored
And raced to the South Pole once before
But in this Vmax mission the stakes are higher:
How much substrate does a reaction require?
How much substrate does a reaction require!
Verse 2
Michaelis and his comrade Menten,
The trailblazing duo for many years,
To participate, they quickly sent in
Their application, but a new competitor appears:
Lineweaver and Burk were both new to the game,
But with youthful enthusiasm, they could do the same.
Despite what the crowd would ever believe,
They were ready to win with an ace up their sleeve.
They were ready to win with an ace up their sleeve!
Verse 3
M and M tried to constantly conquer the hills
Via the steepest passage to the Vmax peak,
While Lineweaver and Burk were using their skills
Of mathematics; through shortcuts they tried to sneak.
But Michaelis and his companion Ment-
En, with allosteric inhibitors, prevent-
Ed that Lineweaver and Burk would never see
The true Vmax and what it could be.
The true Vmax and what it could be!
Verse 4
But L and B just inverted the equation
Now it was just a straight line to win the goal
While M and M never grasped the situation
They like Scott's team would struggle to reach the pole
With the path they chose they get close but never reach
Because the line they chose is approaching asymptotic
For students its hard to understand why we still teach
Something stupid and something so utterly idiotic.
Something stupid and something so utterly idiotic!