How do I express about the way that I feel?

How can I feel

yet be afraid to be real?

A coward. No voice.

At a loss - out of choice.

Victimising, over analysing.

Blaming the world in all its “glory”!

Enterprising. Synthesising.

The shame, a farce, this story...

I'm a product of my own society;

Downgraded by a plague.

I’ve traded vague for notoriety;

Sold my soul, my voice, variety.

I will bend your ear no further more.

Get back to whom you love, adore.

Did you listen in, as I spoke so quietly?

I know the score,

It’s to blame myself, not you entirely.