Hey, there is no rhyme or reason to this

I want to die

That is true

As a bit of a joke I told

Somebody to be God a few years back

And that I wanted to repent (bikta)

And I repented my (I am not Christian) deepest sin

Drunk driving

He said ''det är lätt hänt''

And there was a relief in me, really

While the ongoing battle God and Satan is going on

I have repented about my only five sins in my life

Likens a saint really

Five fucking sins in a life-time

I have made mistakes too but those don't count as sins

As unintentionally hurting people's emotions

I feel in good shape for after-life

(My biological father is Satan himeslf (Satan has many names) and doesn't believe in God)

He is bound for a hundred-thousand whippings by God or Satan or the like

I am certain

Yes my biological father is the sole (enda) reason I became sick in the first place

Why I don't talk to a therapist?

I don't have opportunity to one

So the drunk driving - I was pretty heavy buzzed (ganska onykter)

And I drove to Chicago on Lake Shore Drive and there is a turn that likens a ninety degree angle

And well yeah that is a true story

And I could have killed somebody with my driving

But my sins have been repented

And I am ready for after life

A cry for help suicide-note this

No, I have felt suicidal to and fro most of my adult life

Well, I do have a letter to send

Like Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption (Nyckeln till Frihet) is ready to kill himself but

has one task left

And well I don't have a method

Anyways it would have to be pain-free

And well let me re-read this

and see if it is something worth publishing        14/4/24  Isak