yes i've said it a thousand times. that i'm okay, that i'm fine.

but this is really taking it's toll on me.

i feel that i'm hungry, that i need energy, but when i see her it all stops.

i know she is my blood, but i have nothing to do with her. and i don't want to have anything to do with her.

i know i cant say that she ruined my life, but sometimes it feels that way.

it has never been okay. it has never been fine.

i've been lying my whole life. and that makes be bad. but i don't want to be a burden to people. they have their own problems.

so i'm just gonna keep on lyin.

i promise that i'm okay, that i'm fine. 

see, i'm still smiling.