I could dismantle this modern world
put my fingers in the light bulb
the plug to the universe

My eyes bleed as I stare at the screen
and the scene of destruction I witness
As I wipe the tears with the end of my sleeve
the ruin of distraction I now bless

I distribute crap ‘til my fingers bleed black
I limp my way home
moan ‘til payday comes
then I’ll pay for my peace of mind

I breathe the sickened, toxic air
that shuns up from the ground
Into the wells I leap
to breathe the tar beneath
I smear it at the walls inside my throat
I swallow the fumes

And as the tears are crawling through my veins
I smack my wrist trying to obey
trying to kill to free myself
from rottenness in life and hell
I crash to the ground
I suffocate my lungs
with the craving fingers
that demands the blooded soul
damned and tainted

I struggle towards the wind, and mind
to feel the sunbeams in my flakened face

With my breath away
I run towards the underground slaves
I pray you’ll never see me like this
as the prey of failing bliss

When you’re ill you’re not insane
but you’re to blame
for the wrongs you make
When you dash your head to the ground
and the walls, trying to overcome a loss
greater than your own
you damage the souls of those
who never did you wrong

You claim they harmed you
by looking away
as you hid yourself in your tower of pity
curtained the windows with your
wrists blood
carpeted the floor with your ripped, cut hair
you planted a forest around your tower
to shield it from insight
and you watered it with fluids
that were meant for you to drink
And as you starve yourself in there
you blame them for all your troubles
you blame them for looking away

You may smother yourself
you may try to convey
the vision of light into darkness
As the walls are crawling close
you forget you ever chose
the dead hopes of life
before the abyss

What shall I hade to make
myself a custom of?
A custom of
forgetfulness
ignorance, nonchalance

Trapped in a cage of steel
I do not seem to see the edges
anymore
I cannot feel the floor
the walls are approaching
the never ending night is near at hand
I fly away in thoughts
I drift towards a reality of mind
Before I loose the rope
I’ve been clinging, hanging on to
my nails will be halfway
through my bone

There’s a way of jumping into reality
right through the mirror of insanity
But you’ll cut yourself on the way
and everyone will see
the scars on your face
And you won’t be able to hide
what you once were
In everyone’s mind, you’re still insane
in their reality, you’re out of your mind
No matter how you plead
No matter how you beg them
they’ll still see the other side of the mirror
your reflection that shines through

Ripped apart to pieces
I wander towards a darker being
a hole deeper than the pit of my mind
I fell into
when I casted a spell upon myself
to see fairies dancing on the falling leaves
of the treetops
where there were strokes of lashes
covering my eyes with blood
ripping up flesh wounds in my scull
eating their way into my thoughts

Crawl, crawl into the fire
lies are burning out in flames
And I face the trials of meltdown
in your mind that never found
peace in climbing towards a gal
you know you’ll never reach
Though I never touched
the sweetness of success
I never yearned for the unspeakable
I never loved the forgettable
that would be lesser to me

The tune of the city
is the tune of the beggar’s pipe
The ones that I pity
have finished the line
I’m destined to track

I wake up at night
I need you, I plead your sanity

I’m getting sucked into a huge hole
I leap between rushes of adrenaline
and pits of endless agony
I pray that’s my calling
I pray there’s a reason
for me, for suffering
in a life without purpose

Your black and white
shade of fright
dissolves in a mystery of fumes
The terror by the very look
of your eyes
disappears in knowing
that it is not I
My turn is yet to wait
My turn is now to wait
and I bide my time in denial

Hide under covers when the rain pours out
out of an open sky
trembling down the roof of your shed
dripping poison on your hands
and makes them melt
You were the one to touch the button
to make them come for you
you laughed at their victory
and choked at your chuckles

Take the poisoned kiss
the lips are yours, the trick is this
to suck it out as from a wounds
to lick it clean like your dessert spoon
Then lean back
and feel the flow of daggers through your mind
and veins
Salute the agony and greet the pain
You sought and found your loss
of responsibility, knowledge and ownership
greater the shame, though
greater the fall when you do
trip

You never looked at the corner of my eye
that always weeps
You always craved the side of my
two faced front
that always laughs
you never dug beneath the graves
never beneath the flesh wound worms
And why should we?
Why would we
risk our gift of denial
our blessing of deceit
our lust of forgetfulness
a numb memory

What is then the glory of the modern man
Our depression, our thievery, our lies
our robbing of ourselves
Our crawling in the ground
in the dust out of dried mud
In a swamp of self degradation
a life loss that’s greater
than the deepest pit in the darkest mind
in graves of decadence
And we thrive in our naivety
with lust seeking souls
we try to live out the day
trembling forward
but never falling

Leaping between step stones
that sink, soon faster than we can jump
So we cling to our balloons in the air
happiness, joy, luck, love, laughs, smiles, glimpse
and if you climb between their strings
fast enough
without looking down
perhaps you can overlook the fact
that they are sinking too
Our glory, our misfortune, our bad
there is no turning back
when you made your mistakes
seeking joy
childishly craving quick fixes

And now, so near the bottomless end
And now, still clinging to the
once was and fairytales
I have come to hate my powers
and abilities
Whose creation was this?
Mine, yours or every ones?
No one ever started
but everyone did finish
I blame every rotten soul
I damn them all
as I lie ‘neath my sheets
clawing through my stapled eyes
and the images hinder me from falling asleep
tonight

Life is all about hanging
on until tomorrow

‘cause tomorrow the
sun might shine

And we can’t control it’s dying
but who’s to mourn our loss?