I remember that day more and more now. You invited me over for coffee and of course I said yes.
God, I was so naive. When we got to your place, you mixed me a drink with more color than the sky has stars and you told me that you thought of me when you came up with this drink. You told me that I was beautiful and i believed you.
I took a sip from my drink and my whole world started spinning, I blasted on some music in hope to calm my nerves but nothing helped so I sang my heart out and made my way to the balcony.
You just sat there staring at me, every time I looked away, I could tell that you were still staring at me, biting your bottom lip and memorizing every inch of my body.
I found myself outside on the balcony and I lit another cigarette, one after one I smoked them all. I couldn’t feel my body but I tried to move inside and make my way to the couch but everything felt like a maze in my mind and I couldn’t even walk in a straight line.
I fell down on the couch realizing that you’ve been refilling my drink when I didn’t look or notice. I took another sip and everything went dark.
I felt your hands all over my body. You were kissing my neck making your way further more down while you tried to rip off my skirt. You forced my arms down with all your strength and held them there during this whole time.
You knew that I would resist, you knew it.
I tried fighting you off but you were to strong for me so I closed my eyes and let myself go and felt the tears rush down my eyes, dripping to the ground. You left me naked and afraid on the couch and I forced myself into the bathroom and just stood there.
I stared myself down in the mirror noticing my red eyes, and scratches on my limbs. My whole body started to ache and I was in pain.
I was raped, raped by a person I trusted. I was broken into pieces and destroyed but no one knew my little secret. So I closed my eyes wishing that I could turn back time but deep down I knew the truth. You can’t wish upon the stars when it’s mid day.
You alcohol into my body, refilling my drink and you took advantage of me. You were 25 and I was 16…
Can’t you see how fucked up it is…
Now every time I take the train, I’m scared that you’ll be there and I can’t even imagine what I would do if you were there.