I dreamed of searchlights
Scouring the rough density of decades of dark

Trembling under the dismal guise of feigned readiness,
in a world I had conjured in fantasies of controlled lights,
I saw the refulgent beacons as rays of undoing
radiating intensely from the lighthouse beyond my hiding place

I had been toying with sparks I could quickly douse,
my life had been a simple ruse for myself to dream with,
but now the reality of life beyond darkness
was blindingly clear by the divinity of your alluring gaze

You truly caress me with your searchlights,
and it feels good upon my skin

You must understand;
I am happy from afar, where I can pretend to be near you,
and I dread the inevitable closeness I so desire
for not only will the light probably burn me and leave me blind
it will also reveal all that I am, and all that I am not

But please
Do not shut down the searchlights

They remind me I am a soul
and have a heart
though my darkness has told me otherwise for so long