I come from afar, from Harper's Ferry
to try my luck in Londonderry
where the women do make me high and merry
peeling off their clothes of finest terry

but when today has reached tomorrow
I venture up to Edinburgh
to spend all the money that I can borrow
on ladies who can dispute my sorrow

>oh wee oh wow
I grin and bow,
with the ladies of Britain
I'm certainly smitten<

I soon retort down to Ipswich, a glorious place,
where steaming women are dressed in lace
Ipswich women never give a man much space,
slam their goodies right into his face

Oh, but Glasgow is a well-worn Scottish town
casting temptations both up and down;
the working girls there each wear a gown;
they're so wet you my very well fucking drown

>oh wee oh wow
I grin and bow,
with the ladies of Britain
I'm certainly smitten<

I decided to raise my own sentient life,
so went to Bristol to easily mount a fast wife
without further ado or very much strife;
the lust of the women being keen and rife

However, if you stroll down Newcastle City,
beware of the ladies, they show you no pity;
their hardline caressing is pure nitty and gritty,
they care less if you are educated and witty

>oh wee oh wow
I grin and bow,
with the ladies of Britain
I'm certainly smitten<

In London, too, you can only fail,
the ladies will have you up their tail,
then the law will serve you through the mail,
if you're unable to pay up, there is no bail

But if you are the kind who's blunt and mean,
saddle up and ride your stallion to Aberdeen
where the ladies are known to be lenient and lean,
they'll show you some things you never have seen

>oh wee oh wow
I grin and bow,
with the ladies of Britain
I'm certainly smitten<

When I was grabbed by the throat by the blues
I came across someone who could amuse,
if you got the cash and a hard-on to use,
come down to Dover, step right in to Sue's!

Now my ship is all equipped, sails set for the sea
I'm leaving old Britain, myself, I and me,
returning to the far coast of the horny and the free,
with fond female recollections of chubby and wee

>oh wee oh wow
I grin and bow,
with the ladies of Britain
I'm certainly smitten<