And if I fall like Lucifer fell, will I burn in flames?
If I go away from this life, this life of suffering in the mind. Will I find peace?

What shall I do when the suffering teares apart my mind?
When will it end? Why do I make myself suffer as I do?

I want serenity, no. I need serenity.

I lay in my bed sleepless, constantly awake.
Thoughts cross my mind that I don't want there, visions unspeakable, nightmares in a awakened state...

I don't want life to end, but I can't handle life with my mind.
I want to be able to live life, not suffer through it.

I know my faults and my failings, I take the blame for those.
But my mind won't let me off as easily as the people that I have hurt through out my days has.

Every harsh word, every raised voice, every time I broke my word or broke a promise, everyone I let down somehow, whether I remember it or not my consciousness plagues and tortures me for it.
I am my own tormentor when I know that I could have done better and not fail as I have.

I wish I could sleep and in that sleep perhaps dream, a dream where I was content with life.
For I dare not ask for a dream with happiness, because I know I don't deserve it yet...