Let me talk with you.

Yes, you.

When you left me, you left me with nothing but framed memories and a hole in my chest. When you left me, I had nothing. I have come to realize that you will never come back, but that does not mean I will stop waiting.

Did I ever wrong you, is that it? I wish you would have told me. You always shouldered everything alone, never letting anyone help you for fear of how it would affect them.

Look at what it did to you.
Look at what it did to me.

We had our time, and I will never stop being grateful for that, but the forever we shared pales in comparison with how enormous the amount of time I have to spend without you feels.

I am sorry for everything I ever did wrong. I am sorry for not being myself at times. I am sorry for letting you down. I am sorry for yelling at you when we fought. I am sorry for waking you up whenever I had to get up early in the morning. I am sorry for not spending every single moment of my waking time telling you that what made those moments worth the countless struggles I had met was that I got to spend them with you.

I am so, so very sorry
for leaving you alone.

I miss you, you know. And though I know that I will not be able to get the picture of your and our last moment out of my mind, I sometimes wish I could. I wish that when I thought of you, I would instead remember how you lit up even the darkest of days by simply smiling. How you were able to take a whole room full of strangers and make them friends. How you made the sun green with envy over the warmth you spread. How you were the one I would give up anything and everything for.

But I suppose that was not enough.

Your shirt is still hanging in the hall. I did not dare to move it. Instead I let it hang there, as white as ever, as if nothing had changed. As if its sleeves did not use to be red from time to time until you eventually managed to wash it off. It is still, just like the rest of the house.

The windows are wide open, just as they were on the day you left.

I have come to realize that you will never come back, so instead I will go to where you are.