it`s to much what have i done to myself ..just worn myself out mentally ..feel like s*** lookin for a way out running from myself finding others ways to nome the pain i feel inside..i can`t get rid of..it`s popping up when i ,it least expect it..i feel how my intire world breaks down, like a sickness..that`s what it is a disease..that you can`t control sometimes, and when those things you keep yourself busy with disapear..you watch yourself fall..in misery..you start to think about the mistakes you done in your days..and regret them, at night you walk up and feel like some thing grabs you in the stomach a chump and goes on to your chest area and you feel like you have it hard to breath ...it´s a disease you can`t control sometimes..:(