Needless to say, I felt.
Who felt with me?
I couldn’t bear the thought of total incontinence.
Let my thoughts go free, my idioticness is on a killing spree
What I always wanted
Who I always needed
I never felt I could walk again
I’ve never walked at all.
Then insomnia caught up with me, conquering what could’ve been good
David and goliath, and I couldn’t fall much harder into the ground
Yeah, this is it, I always tell. Tell tell tell tell
Bell bell bell bell
It’s ticking like a snake, Luring
Cannot conquer us all
Only me, a twat
A mindfucked asshole, stirring up your life
A nobody with minds on somebody, going strong throughout this hellhole. It’s not a hell hole, but still not paradise.
Anger spreads through synapses and nerves like a regulated donkey. Balls.
I do not know who I feel like.
I do not know what my answer is..
I cannot name my feeling other than, respect.
Respect for not bursting into flames.
Not throwing my words at you like harpoons.
Not throwing our life together straight into orbit…
I don’t want to harm you in any other way than I want…
But I don’t want that.
Nothing wants.
I don’t want nothing..
All I need is someone to control me..
To control me.
But still not control me at all.
I don’t like who I am through your eyes.
But I don’t dislike who I am.
And I don’t know if I still want to sleep.
Sleep with the one of my choice.
Sleep like nothing ever happened.
We can never look back and think,
this is what I wanted.
But I would like to…
Then again I am sorry for the feelings I burst into you.
The problems I create with my silence.
All I talk is silence.
All silence is my talk, Just look into my feelings.
Look into whatever.
I am a robot.
A robot that think you can be what you want if you want it.
A robot that walks and talks like other robots.
A robot who thinks that he could win this life if done like this.
With no compromise, with no guts…
With nothing that can resemble humans at all.
I know I can’t be.
I KNOW I won’t be.
Why hold up?
Why put everything on hold to await the storm?
My tornado isn’t going to wait…
When will I ever learn?
Possibilities walk the earth…
Remember one thing,
I still cannot walk.