What if everything around you feels gray like a fog, a blend of moist and loneliness.

You can’t see, you can’t feel, you are walking in no mans land.

What you see isn’t real, what you hear isn’t real.

A twisted reality like Alice’s wonderland, but yet in so many ways something entirely different.

If a feeling had a color it would be gray

If a touch had a color it would be gray

If the color gray would feel, it would be a wast emptiness void of any emotions or feelings.

You feel it everyday, you think about it everyday.

You try to avoid it but it is pointless.

What you feel is nothing, what you do doesn’t matter, for what can you do when you are lost in the fog in wonderland with no secret doors, no way out and no rabbit to guide you?

When the tears from your eyes are flowing down at your cheeks and with no one to see them, are they any less real than wonderland or this gray reality I live in?

Are they no less real than my lovers gentle touch when she dries my tears or when she envelop me in her soft embrace so that I can finely smile and feel happiness again?

Thank you love for your understanding, patience, kindness and most of all. Your love.