I am in awe, completely and thoroughly astounded

Pray, what matter mood is this?

What matter mood is this, tearing my insides out so lovingly
perfectly pristine and cherished... with such perfect perfect ease

... as though pain exists for the sake of existence alone,
I shiver, quiver and shake subtly as I absorb the now.

as for the now, this now and the now in question;
now was the mindset let lose for reasons absent in the explanation.

/