It was a warm and moisty christmas weekend
as if the gods themselves where immersing my agony
reinforcing my misery
withholding me even a beautiful chrismas eve

I loved you from the moment we first met
I picked you up and decided to stay by your side
No matter what would be thrown upon us
No matter what you would do to me
I loved you as the man I knew you could have been

I walked two steps behind you for months to come
I watched your every step and I read the signs
I saw you hesitating and I saw you trying to cover it from me

I knew from the beginning that I didnt like you
I knew you would break my heart, take back everything you momentarly had given to me
and even so I loved you
I treasured the words you gave me of promise
I pretended them to be my future, even though I always knew somehow they werent
I tried to prepare for when the moment would come
when you would leave me
but even so,
even all of this,
I wasnt prepared

You left me the day I told you
when I finally spoke the only words I'd hidden from you
You walked away without a word
and you were gone

And here I am
stumbling upon your words
the words I saved in a box
words that I used to read to pretend
but now I can only read them and hear your lies
I wasnt the big pretender
it was you
You let me think I could handle it, and you saw me fall
You let me think I was in charge, and you saw me give in to you
You saw my walls fall beneath you, and you rushed in with your army to take the very last frontiers from me

Nothing was ever more than a play to you
An amazing play you mastered and I was a fool
I was your fool and I played in your hands
from day one til the day you left, I did everything just the way you wanted me to
And then christmas came and the play was over

One day I'll walk out of this
One day the snow will fall upon our history
Cover the sad parts and only leave the memories
Leave me with the lesson learned from the great master
One day I'll walk out of this stronger
and one day you will take my place in this moisty misery
You will weep as I have wept
You will be burden by the words of your loved ones
You will stumble upon reality
and then you'll walk out a stronger man

Call me then for another session
and I will beat the crap out of you.