crawling..
in the gutter..in darkness...on the knees..not even mine...clothes ripped apart long ago...stench from me. my body. breath. around in the sewer.

moving not even moving occasionally dragging my way on the street beside the sidewalk...colors brown or greyish black..no food...
no nothing..there is no one around..some noises from different locations is heard from a distance..waste water is running hear that noise, it's like the base sound in this world this space...

up..trying to get up. or at least have one foot on the ground..I stop. foot is on the slippery asphalt..in the dirt


what next..is it at all a question...what am i moving towards. getting up..no oxygen left...it doesn't matter how much i breath , it won't reach the alveolus. life juice not entering. too clogged.

rain starts slowly small..ly..smacking the face...it's laughing spitting on it..I'm not even me, I'm it that...fading out..see nothing ..hear nothing..feel not..a ..thing...white wall enters...enter a dream ..taking ..one slow ..breath..

close my eyes...

are u there...is some one there..I thought I saw a shadow..someone moving..way..memory playing a prick..nervous system gets a instant electric chock..adrenalin comes short..another breath...and then a sigh..

beginning of sweat on my forehead...a dog is here...sleeping...am I that...someone's dog..society's dog..leaning my head backwards on a steel bar...made of wood...room is square..got contours..small..

new line awating..the brave...I'm not...I'm not here..who is screaming...they are calling my number...hear it from a distance...I'm in the wrong room...like it's someone else number they're calling...[get up]...eyes opens
what do they see...blind eyes...seeing the cell...distant panic arises...


hitting hard on the life line...firmly it's getting the taste of the rusty frustration...

I'm twisting it hard...don't leave a single drop of blood running...it's not even damp.dry.

shutting the door behind. Bang. Mania sets in. controlling the nervous system. flipping and turning the extremities. spasm. in. the ..leg..s...

the monster is holding the pearl..too distant to reach. kill it..how to kill something dead?,,,

spit it out. go there and take it.

now.