I tried not to be. 
I woke up this morning to sunlight shining through the windows and I felt fine and thought it would be a good day. 
But as the afternoon came around something changed. 
The light crawled back and so did I. 
Regressed into the same old sad whimpering scared little thing. 

I've been lying in my bed for half an hour with tearstained cheeks and my feet against the radiator. I hate how the sadness seems to spread throughout my body, making me cold and weary. 

I wish I could find the right switches in my head. 
Switch on feelings, 
switch off darkness. 

But it's never that easy, right?