the heat. the smell. the air humidity. are just some of the many things that's new for me. drinking about 2 liters of Thai sprite as well. the amount of rice and veggies too... we are a gang of four. Me. Joakim. Robert. and Terry. Joakim is from Sweden like me. Robert is from Australia. and he has away of like communicating that just makes you unsure if he's taking a piss or just is that way. Terry is by far the weirdest of them. also the one I've gotten closest to. he has rode his 44 kilo bicycle (with gear) across Australia before going to Thailand. now we are making our way through Thailand. the mosquitoes seem to be taking a liking to me. and we're going at a very comfortable pace. usually done by 10-12 a clock. Terry has the weirdest laughter I've ever heard. I have by far the lightest bike and been struggling to find the challenge so far. Although I been burned quite badly. and sweating like a beast in heat... the riding been easy so far. first day it was like 46 degrees and we all suffered from different stages of heatstroke... but even then I felt strong. but now comes the interesting stage. tomorrow we do 90 km. the day after that the mountains come. and we do 110 km. I'm always respectful of harder rides because I know my body can be very frail but I also welcome it. Me and Terry has made all these silly videos were we act like juveniles... but tomorrow it's starts for real. everyone been so friendly and helpful. the festival is in chaos. and this might be the last year of these sort of events. the social media drama is ruining the reputation of the locals in Chiang Mai. but it is what it is. you can only control the things that you are in control of. mindset and point of view. I only know one thing. being a rider is what I am. seeing the world like this is what my heart... it is my heart. I'm not a perfect man. I've realised that... that concept doesn't exist. I've done many things wrong... I've done many people wrong. and there's nothing I can do to change the past. It's a part of who I am. I'm so sick of writing this shit. seems so pointless. I'm just so sick of the format. maybe it is the fact that most people read to be able to sleep? I don't know... I just don't think I need it anymore... the road supplies me with what I need. and where I want to go limits what I can do. I don't know? I really don't... I did think about doing like a diary but just the thought bores the shit out of me. but I will share this thou. last Friday I saw wiped on a stone 20 km from Gränna and like "what the fuck am I doing?" and everything it seemed went wrong. in my head I've created a shit storm. but being pressured by time will do that. but also being pressured by pride. I don't know where I'll end up. and I no longer care. as long as it is as far away from what I came from as possible. I'm sorry for all the heartache. if I could I would suck it out of the soul of those affected and let it invade me
... life is amazing. it really is. out of breath. sweaty. determend. I've promised to go back and work for another two and a half month. and I keep my promises. even though in my mind I've already walked away from that sort of life... eternally