I hit the rails 36 minutes after midnight - a Monday moonchild on an early train to childhood. All went well and on time for me and my young parents, and so my train of life began.

I was the only child on my familytrain, but I was never lonely - I had books galore in the library train next door. So many stories with friends I gladly spent time with, and from an early age I became a reading fan.

When I turned 11 I found a new friend – Shiro The Acoustic Guitar became my favourite companion. And WOW did we spend a lot of time together!
Different teachers went by, but my guitar remained the same and our heydays peaked when I was 14. Then came the teenage ghost-train, and nothing would ever be the same, not ever.

School had never been a problem, but suddenly I found my 16-year old head full of distracting thoughts…
- Who am I?
- Am I good?
- Could someone love me, want me?
- Or am I just too ugly?
(Don’t know why I still keep all my teenage poems, so full of my imaginary flaws.)

All I wanted was to find that train full of love. But they all went past me on sidetracks, or was late, or early, or cancelled? I will never know.
But the curse of shyness might have something to do with it, and maybe it was misinterpreted as self-confidence – of which I had never heard of and couldn’t show.

The London trains in my late teens were amazing, and I really loved that place - full of vinyl records, Marquee concerts, music fairs and cool things to wear!
I got my first tattoo and almost felt like a rock star. I could have any look I wanted and I enjoyed myself, but my train of life wasn’t like a bed of roses. Life can be unfair.
- Friends I thought I had, they left me out and behind.
- The thing I thought was love, was really a trap in my mind.

You see, in my twenties I found myself on dead-end-tracks and I went along far too long. I wasn’t strong, so I stayed on. When I really needed to jump off around every bend.
But I think that sometimes we need the extra mileage to learn things about ourselves, from our mistakes and wrong decisions, and which tracks never to follow again.

Suddenly though, I was on the railway of true love! I was 27 when my real life started, the same age when others find it’s time to die…
I don’t have much in common with all those rockstars, but we all know that the train of life can take you places where you feel you can fly.

I got lucky and found out what it’s like to be loved and really believe it to be a 100 % true. It’s a wonderful feeling when your heart is on fire!
The train of marriage passed me by, somewhere along the way to Las Vegas. But I don’t mind a long engagement, because I had a stronger desire.

I had longed for motherhood for quite some time, and one day I realized that baby train was coming. So unreal, so wonderful, so much of an emotionally roller coaster ride.
I’m so glad the 20-year old me was wrong about a childless life. To be a part of a human life from the very beginning, that’s beyond words to describe.

So, my train of life moved on, steady and fast, passing stations full of family life, work life, family, work. Family work. Work, work. And then; no sense of life anymore.
Me, myself, and I kind of disappeared and I lost my mojo somewhere along the way. But I found her sitting on an empty platform, sobbing her breath away from her core.

But suddenly, like a wish coming true, the train of rock n roll arrived right before my eyes. Halleluja and praise all my rockheroes!
Me and my mojo jumped aboard and found the internet way of having a rocky reunion, and so the story goes.
I needed my heart to sing, and that’s what rock can bring.

Years passed by and my train kept a rolling. But now I seem stuck at this Station of Lost Motivation.
I feel like I’ve lost my driving force and will to engage, and I don’t know my why.
I only struggle in between meaningless menopaus symptoms that sometimes makes me cry.

In my daydreams I’m version 2.0 - in full bloom and a foxy lady who’s full of life, laughter and happily electrified.
I hope those days will come, but now I’m just staring at the tracks and a huge crossing sign…
Well, well, who knows what life will bring.
I’m only 50 years young and still love to live.