"To be perfectly honest" is a phrase I've been using like it would be my last sentence lately

Like a confession train about to enter the exit station or driving of a cliff

Like I can't let you go one more second around in this life, not knowing what I actually think about or of you

Like I'm saying goodbye, asking for forgiveness that I would never deserve but still require

To be honest, it's impressive how I didn't make you go crazy for me

I'm a hot mess disguised in ugly messiness, believing "it will all be fine"

I've hurt you, and to be perfectly honest, I could or even should apologize. But it's easier for both if us if you hate me, like those green peas at you plate...

It's easier to hate me, I know because I do it too.

Impressed, by the strength you had to not go crazy, because I go insane just to live inside this skin

You tell me I'm pretty, and smart, you tell me I'm beautiful and that you love me. But who taught you about love? Please sir, read a book.

If you hear "to be perfectly honest" please listen, and hold me, because I'm driving fast towards that cliff, I'm letting the wheel go, I inhale the last drag of the cigarett, I'm placing all my cards on the table, I'm jumping. Catch me, or let me fall.

Because to be perfectly honest, I both adore you like it's blood running trough my veins, and I love you like it would be my last breath, and I am sorry, for teaching you how to hate me.